mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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