pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
