i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
