Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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