You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
