So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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