Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
