1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
