Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
