I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
