We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
