I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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