By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
