Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
two words...techno handjob
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
