Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
