she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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