if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
