we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
