I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
