dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
