So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
