I wish I could punch you in the face.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
