I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
