Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
