...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
