I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
two words: eviction party
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think my moral compass just broke
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
