Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
