quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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