i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
