i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
