It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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