I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
