I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
