Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
