At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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