The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
