I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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