my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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