toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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