Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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