pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
