I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
