i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's rum buckets o'clock
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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