yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
