The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
