Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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