Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
