well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
