Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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