some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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