would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
