i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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