the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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