And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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